the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
