I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
