soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There r osticjed everywhere
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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