Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
