): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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