if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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