i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
