Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize