i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
