I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
