Pappa wants mamma naked
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Who died my cat blue again?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
