i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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