He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
