No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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