from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
