The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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