and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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