you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
