Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
