It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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