WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
