i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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