apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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