Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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