sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We are two peas in an std pod
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
