Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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