Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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