Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
