Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
