What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
