I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
