i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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