I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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