I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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