Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
