let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
