I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
