Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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