In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
