Me too!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
