Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
