He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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