Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
