you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
