I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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