Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize