I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
