the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
