You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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