Don't you send me to vm
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
