Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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