singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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