If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize