maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
