This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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