good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
i need some magic done to my vagina
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
