yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
