Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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