How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
