you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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