why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
