piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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