Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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